Rouen in Seine

Taming the seine on our continuing journey of 67 miles from Honfleur to Rouen was my main concern and once the flood had met the incoming tide all settled down. Our speed increased across the ground to 10 knots at one point. The stress went out of the journey and seemed to transfer to concerned, shore side, dwellers. We saw a number of people peering across the river wondering how high it would get and one lady was measuring the river height to the top of her wall, about 18 inches as far as I could see. Many houses appeared to be below river level.

Not too much traffic around but we did have to dodge a number of trees.

Our arrival in Rouen was uneventful making me think I might be getting the hang of this sailing lark.

Of course Rouen was where Hermy had to have her mast removed. A very scary experience.

 These old boys were tip top. Christophe, operating the crane thing, was a younger version of Bill at Segas sailing club, totally in control while finding time to mildly take the piss. It must be part of the training. He mentioned that he would be relying on me to go up the mast to attach the sling. I just smiled thinking this was just him having fun, but he meant it. Although Hermy has steps I always considered them to be for the use of others. Wife belayed me so that if I fell my descent would have been slowed by her ascent. Not sure where it would have all finished but all went well. Old chimp instincts kicked in.

Hermy Sans Mast... It's just not right.

Of course that was only the beginning. We had to wrap the mast for transportation. What does that mean? I have some Christmas experience but that has received criticism in the past.

Miles of tape, bubble wrap, cling film and cardboard. I'll never complain about presents again.

So now we had time to explore Rouen and taking our lives in our hands we took on the French traffic system. Driving on the wrong side of the road is difficult enough in a car but on a bike they seem to come at you from everywhere. I decided it was important to blend in  so that they didn't go for me because I looked different.

This fashionable look has attracted the odd approving comments from youthful, trendy French people  promenading along the Seine. I must look up " Regardez le Tosseur."

Actually this bike is an instrument of torture, no amount of cream and Chaffe free underwear spare you from the pains associated with such an unforgiving saddle. I am sure it was an earlier version of this that got Joan of Arc to confess she was a heretic. 'Submitez vous  or vous allez to the supermarche sur le bicyclette madamoiselle.' On the subject of Joan, interestingly, they refer to her as being "Brulee'd which conjures up images of your creme brulee being tied to a stake and torched. Or the young maiden being crisped up on the outside with a blow torch.

Just when you are beginning to think all disasters are past, no current open head wounds, I usually find a new one and today was no exception. Due to the rain I noticed that our bimini was beginning to sag having collected a gallon or two of water. 

No problem, a quick push from underneath would take the strain off and deposit the water into the marina. I promptly did this but then heard muffled screaming which, at first, I couldn't quite place but it did have that 'Caro' ring to it and was often heard when disaster strikes with a slight tone of, 'and this is your bloody fault,' I felt reassured, couldn't be my fault as I was outside and the screaming was from inside! 'Now what could be the matter with that wife?' Small side windows were open. Bed took about a gallon.

Opting back in to Britain ... Home tomorrow 14th June.

Hermy finally gets to Honfleur

The order of the month seems to have been cold wind and rain both for England and France although the French seem to have at least tried to keep the rainfall to night time.

To get out of Fecamp inner basin there is a lock and a lifting bridge. If you time it right the lock is on free flow so you just have to manage the opening of the bridge. The marina warned us that the Capitainerie didn't speak English and gave us a 'post it' with 'Ouverture la pont  s'il vous plait' written on it to assist or request.

No problem! channel 9 in my best French accent I repeat the above several times with no response. Bearing in mind the Capitainarie is about fifty yards from our berth and I can see the man through the window, no amount of waving or ouverturing the bloody pont brings any kind of response.

After 10 minutes I march out of the basin with vhf in hand, across the damn pont and bang on the door of the Capitainerie. He politely explains in French that I can just make out that he has not heard a word and will be more than happy to Ouverture the pont. He asks do I have a radio problem? I am on channel 12 aren't  I? Err yes of course radio problem must be the cliffs. 

I suddenly realize that I am now the wrong side of the pont but can't explain that in French so I leg it out of the Capitainerie and back to the boat. The pont ouvertures and out we go. Fill up with fuel and hop into an outer harbour berth for the night.

Despite having made a significant contribution to the Fecamp economy we enjoyed our stay and decided that if things are going to go bent then Fecamp is a good place for it.

Out at lunch time and a lovely sail down to Cap Antifer.

A skipper has many responsibilities aboard ship and never has time to stop and take it all in!

The Honfleur Rouen channel is quite narrow particularly when large ships creep up on you. 

Whenever I see one of these the ships always seem to have a confident grin!

Honfleur lock is our biggest lock so far and only had to share it with one other boat.

Wife doing a sterling job on the bow. Shortly after this she capped it off by lassoing a dock cleat as we came alongside in Honfleur. It was a pity it wasn't in the inner basin where you have a massive audience. 

I would like to point out that any showing off, that comes off, is ultimately down to the skipper. bodges, crashes, scrapes and downright humiliations are always due to the crew.

you wouldn't want to get anything caught in these.

Hermy finally alongside at Honfleur signalling the end of the sea leg of our voyage. Note the brand new coat. I got brand new PJs as the old ones were getting a little crusty but wasn't allowed to model them.

If  you understand tides and flooding and understand how river flow works then the current issues around Paris on the Seine creates some extraordinary circumstances.

 If you don't then you plan to leave Honfleur at low water at the turn of the tide expecting gentle conditions to begin your journey up the River Seine.

You are not allowed to stop, anchor, sail or interfere with commercial shipping regardless of usual rights of way on the Seine. You are a pleasure boater and are therefore just in the bloody way.

As you leave Honfleur you begin to understand river floods and tides. We came out and met, full on, all the floodwater, now no longer impeded by the tide, belting out of the Seine. 

We motored against 5.5 knots of flow making 2 knots of progress over the ground in very lumpy conditions. I explained to crew that this was fully expected and would soon die down, which it did, after an hour and a half ! Luckily the engine was on top form.

Honfleur by Renault Clio

Hopes that injectors may be replaced earlier than estimated, by the nice man from Uship were quietly laid to rest. Friday arrived and no mechanics appeared despite the crossed fingered smiling, nice lady on reception. Her face showed no signs of the "Piss off, we told you Monday didn't we?" attitude that you sometimes detect in such situations.

So it was to ADA car hire and hire a Clio, then beg your mates to let you stay in their hard won accommodation, following the usual internet battle for it in Honfleur. They couldn't turn us away, or at least couldn't think of a way, and off we went to Honfleur just up the road and a few kerbs. Weird this driving on the right or is it left?

A very nice place which should be on everyone's weekend away list. Pretty harbour, lots of cafe's and shops, really quaint buildings, they looked like they had been built by artists for artists. Tall and thin, just like me!

Really nice to meet up with good, wife fearing, mates,

and their wives.

Honfleur was a wine beer and food fest, very relaxing and a good preview for our eventual arrival. If you look closely at the first photo you spot a Southerly 115 up against the harbour wall so couldn't resist a visit as we staggered back to the thin accommodation.

 Would you believe it? When I said 'Hi I've got one of these' to the owner, he immediately said ah yes having Injector problems in Fecamp I believe? Well I suppose he could have said, ah yes  you're the twat that keeps bashing his head on everything! 

Apparently he had run in to fellow North France cruisers Mike and Ann Marie on Fleur and Dave and Gill on Morning Mist. No secrets allowed here.

Had a lovely visit to a butterfly farm thingy, what do you call a butterfly-erie?

Some pretty specimens

Then a rarer, refined and ornate specimen hiding in the leaves!

Some fine dining was had at Les Fontaines restaurant where Carl and I discovered Marmite Normandy! No not what you might think, no sign of Marmite but a lovely fish stew. Food was really nice.

Well it was all over too quickly and before we knew it we were all up and packing away the empty bottles for quiet disposal and then readying for our journeys home.

Managed to get the Clio back to Fecamp with no real damage, even the lady at the hire shop seemed surprised. 

The good news was Uship came good and within an hour of our return, Brice, the very nice man from Uship, was onboard installing new injectors. After bleeding the engine, the bleeding engine started and purred like a pussy cat. 

Very pleased with the service and I shall be voting Uship at the next election.

Next stop Hermione does Honfleur.

All goes bent in Fecamp.

Probably the nicest spot so far. Fecamp from above. Wife made me walk up here to satisfy the step app on her Iphone!

You know when you text a busy ,frustrated, working mate that the biggest problem you have is that the Garlic, Boursin and the bottle of red wine are too cold to start lunch, then, deservedly,  things are about to go wrong!

Well they did. No electrics on the pontoon, no problem we need to move the boat further up. We can do that even the nice Germans next door agreed to help us despite my gaff when cleaning seagull poo of the spray hood earlier, the Luftwaffe reference without checking their flag of origin first was a mistake.

Start up the engine, let her warm up, sounds lovely, ignore wife's comments about billowing white smoke and oil slick emanating from our exhaust. They guy next door had his outboard cover off so it was to do with him, obviously! Wife persists so need to point out her error more emphatically. Shit! engine off.

I am sure I read somewhere that Yanmar's need a good blast every now and again to prevent carbon build up. It must be that. Five minutes of polluting Fecamp harbour and there is clearly a problem.

Looks like an injector problem according to Google. The Marina advise that I visit the local Uship office but I have no idea what Nigel Farage can do.

The very nice man agrees to look at the problem on Monday after a little French teeth sucking to prepare me for the worst.

Monday arrives and Grice turns up, a young, dour chap, that is, until I welt my head on the boom which cheered him up no end. He agrees with Google and takes all three injectors only leaving a small diesel stain on the carpet.

Speak to the marina about extending our stay and they agree,  but say we must go into the locked basin. I explain that I haven't got a motor and he says no problem I'll give you a tow. Normally such a manoeuvre would involve all my sailing mates being notified so they could bring their cameras.

Tuesday 23rd May, Hermy is towed into the dock. I can't help thinking of HMS Victory being towed into her final resting place in 1922. Notice how close that boom is to ma tete!

I settle in to French life as I am informed that the work on the injectors will take a week and we plan our victorious arrival in Honfleur to meet the Smiths and the Kings via hired Renault Clio. Luckily they have booked an Air B and B that has three double rooms. 

Do you think they knew?

I throw myself in to the live aboard chef roll. Did you know the French sell peas in small green mouthful packets? Extraordinary!

We visit Fecamp Benedictine Palace, Incredibly it is devoted to distilling alcohol, apparently some old Monk had the forsight to blend herbs and alcohol to make rather a tasty shot. Some French guy, Monsiour LeGrand, found the recipe and made a business out of producing the stuff. What a good chap!

I reckon we can get this between the windlass and the port shroud!

Technology has proved to be a real challenge, Iphones , tablets and laptops have been a real pain, mainly due to something called roaming, BT, and the unreliability of Wifi. Below is our most reliable bit of technology keeping us abreast of what's going on in Blighty. 

I bought it in 1980 for £6 when I started at Chester College to keep me in touch with the outside world. Still doing its job. Seems to like Smooth radio at the moment. Unfortunately they only have three adverts which they keep repeating.

Continuing with our, what we do and don't like about French life, we have noticed that the French are not adverse to whipping it out and having a pee where ever they may be. Slightly disturbing at times but I have to say that the good old English drunk often adopts this French behaviour but not usually in times of temperance. Despite this 'Whip and pee' culture we do still find that the French are very friendly, polite and courteous. "Pardonez moi monsiour je suis just having a quick peepee"

A great thing that we have noticed is traffic lights that count down to going green which is fantastic taking much of the stress out of traffic lights wondering if they ever will change. We must adopt these.

Just had the bill for the injectors.

That's it, will have to pull children's university funding.

Dieppe is closed!

Dieppe is closed!

Came out of Boulogne Sunday morning and made our way nicely under sail towards Dieppe. Hermy sails very nicely and we made good progress but gradually reefed down as the wind grew and the chop increased. Not forecast and wife not happy. Glad to get in to Dieppe harbour which was welcomingly sheltered. Popped into a nice visitors berth and all was well.

Practiced my French on the bemused marina lady whose English was on a par with John Gielgud's.

At this point I proved that banging your head was not just an onboard ritual, when I bent down to place marina stuff in my rucksack and on coming back up hit the underside of the counter with rivet tearing force and an enormous resonating crack. The poor lady didn't know whether to apologise, call an ambulance or check the counter for damage. She quickly took her lead from my caring wife who was doubled up with laughter. I continued on as if it was just a normal daily occurrence which I am beginning to think it is.

We felt there were similarities with Dieppe and Dover although no Witherspoon's evident but I did have wait to make a deposit at the bins whilst a man went through what was in there, he may not go back if he started to look in mine!

It has a castle on a hill, and I am sure I saw this woman in Dover too.

The castle also had a museum which was highly advertised and we tried to look at it. Day one it was closed because it was lunch two hours, day two it was closed because it was Tuesday, and on the third attempt it was closed because there was a strike, it's a bit like working with the Met.

Nice views of where the Canadians attacked in 1942 op Jubilee.

Dieppe was not enhanced with the gloomy weather and to cheer ourselves up we caught a bus to St Valery en Caux, a port we were going to leapfrog so we thought it would be nice to have a look. Bus turned up and a nice lady drove us for an hour for 2 Euros each.

St Valery En Caux harbour, lovely if you could airbrush out the Winibagos.

All was well here until we decided to go back and wait for the bus for half an hour before we realised we were looking at the July/ August timetable and not the "Dieppe is closed" timetable, still despite the strikes they were running.

Had lunch and got completely soaked before catching the bus home.

As a trained observer I couldn't help thinking that the couple I held the Marina gate open for might be English. About thirty minutes later Dave from Morning Mist whom we had met at St Valerie Sur Somme came up to the boat and said I thought that was you! We were invited for drinks at 5:30.

At SV En Caux we decided to begin our lists of good French things and bad French things. Number one good French thing are the police sirens. They are the old fashioned ee  orr  ee orr type which conveys perfectly to the public that there is a problem, likely to be a load of rubbish but we had better get there and make sure. Rather than the stupidly hysterical American type of wailing and whooping that startles the shit out of the public and conveys the message that the world is about to explode but 5 seconds later it stops and you draw up to a Witherspoons where two drunks are arguing over the next round.

Worst thing - no fat free milk and their coffee is crap.

Stayed two days longer than we wanted to because of the weather but the forcast was good for Friday 20th wave height .06 metre and 12 knot winds. Not true 2 metre waves and 20 knot winds with driving rain. Carol Kirkwood or Nina Ridge wouldn't do this to us.

Caroline sunbathing.

Fecamp looks really nice.

Etaples and St Valery Sur Somme

 Etaples is a tricky entrance but luckily there were plenty of local boats knocking about to give you a clue and we were lucky to follow a local all the way in. The Capitainarie was very helpful but wanted us to turn the boat around , not sure why, perhaps he hadn't had enough sport that day. We did this after the tide had turned in about four knots of stream. Impossible to bring it back on to the same hammerhead so backed on to the next one up and then left it too late to change it before we told them. They were fine about it. We found out why we had to turn round when we saw the tide come in. Like white water slalom.

Hermione was the first British visitor in 2016.

The French clearly haven't got their tides worked out, whilst it was perfect to attempt entry to Etaples at around midday once you're up here you can't leave until mid afternoon and then your buggered to go in anywhere else. The options are hike back up to Boulogne or try something more adventurous like anchoring overnight or trying a night time entry. Neither recommended.

The speed of the incoming tide is worth seeing. Quicker than a Westerly Centaur around the Isle of Wight.

Gone!

                                                                            Back!

Seagulls here are really big and when you wake up looking up the skirt of an extra large one perched on your aft hatch you get  a sudden feeling that to move rashly may have consequences that might take some time to clear up. We had noticed that our dock was a bombing training ground target for the local gulls.

Le Touquet is a shortish bike ride away and is very pleasant with airfield, equestrian centre and pretty town centre clearly for the rich. Nevertheless a lovely beach and surrounding dunes and woods.

The end of Le Touquet runway. 

On the otherside of this box is a sign that says:

"Si vous ne taken off pas yet puis vous etes dans le merd."

They put a small fence and a large box there just in case you do manage to get off the ground they ensure your under carraige is removed as a lesson.

Etaples at flood

We took the easy option and headed back to Boulogne for the night before setting out early for St Valery Sur Somme. En route I caught the first fish of the trip, an unsuspecting mackerel which we omitted to photograph before throwing him back but very large!

Seven miles of slaloming around red and green cans before you get to this position but well worth it when you get here. Seals,steam trains, cafes, pretty shops and houses and lots of greenery. Very nice place.

Short guys don't bang their heads until they get a boat! Nothing to do with the beer!

Brexit

Well we have finally got away leaving Gillingham lock at 0750 on Sunday 1st May. Granddad saw us off and enjoyed my several attempts to call the lock keeper on the wrong channel then the blank look I gave the lock keeper when he asked for my exit card. We sorted it.

A lovely day but no wind meant that Hermy's engine had to do all the work. We thought we had encountered our first pirate just off the strand but it turned out to be the skipper of Aronele seeing us off in his tender. The flat calm persisted.  Shivering Sands towers, mid Thames Estuary.

The wind picked up as we motored between the coast and the Goodwins but it was on the nose. Arrival in Dover was reasonably uneventful. Monday's weather turned horrible so we set about entertaining ourselves in Dover. Jungle book seemed a good idea but the House only had 73 seats and after 45 minutes queuing we got within ten people from admission when we were turned away. The museum was open so we went in there. Have to say it was really good. We began to like Dover, strangely! Tuesday 3rd saw a beautiful day and having discovered out of date flares in the box we hiked up on to the white cliffs to dispose of them at the Coast Guard station.

Liking Dover even more

A walk to Dover castle via the Bleriot memorial was very pleasant and I entered in to the history of it all.

Dover Castle seemed even more interesting than last time, it must have been the sunshine effect. Despite the run down appearance of the town and the Witherspoon's 10am drinking facility, you get the feeling Dover is ripe for regeneration.

On Wednesday 4th May we slipped our mooring, fuelled up and after a short telling off from Dover Port Control for requesting permission to leave later than we should have, we headed for Boulogne motor sailing. The busiest shipping lane in the world, wasn't all that busy and after slowing down considerably to let a ship pass ahead of us we managed to create a collision course that didn't initially exist. We dodged him and I don't think there was any fist shaking, It could have been a friendly wave!

Boulogne Digue Carnot. A very friendly reception despite the large dredger hiding behind the wall. Boulogne Sur Mer for a couple of days exploring and amusing the locals with my version of French.