Hermione does very little while we do the sights

Older brother arrived at Torre Del Greco clutching his wallet ready for some serious sightseeing. I think he enjoys his holidays despite still working full time trying to make America great again while his two younger brothers loll around in splendid retirement.

Torre Del  Greco sits beneath Mount Vesuvius between Herculaneum and Pompeii on the train line between Naples and Salerno. Lots of sights to see and lovely high temperatures too. I could tell Mrs K was excited.

Naples was our first sight seeing day visiting the archaeological museum with its more than interesting finds and statues. As a punishment this man's wife was tied to a bull. The bull learnt its lesson and didn't misbehave again.

I wasn't allowed to show anything about Pan and a goat.

In order to cool down a bit we did a tour of underground Naples a tour of the ancient cisterns dug out, god knows when to store the towns water and quite handy as a bomb shelter a couple of thousand years later.

Mrs K likes cool.

You can't go to Naples without mentioning their patron saint, Saint Gennaro who was indeed decapitated by the now legendary Diocletian. Somehow some of his blood ended up stored in a phial and three times a year it is brought out to see if it will liquefy bringing good fortune to the city. Despite the church being a tad cagey about close inspection it still draws crowds on those occasions. Seems to work on the, 'It'll be fine' principle.

Next was Herculaneum and Vesuvius. The buried and the burier.

Hot and steamy just like Vesuvius. Well she was after we had walked about three miles looking for the bus stop that took you up. There were plenty of taxi drivers touting for business but not a single helpful sign post. Probably removed by the taxi drivers.

Still the views from the top were great.

Marching around Herculaneum after our very long and steep walk topped the day off and we collapsed in to the sailing club bar after putting our long trousers on for a well earned beer.

And all the lovely nibbles that come with it.

People rave about Capri and if you spend any time in Naples beforehand the contrast brings this out. We decided to do a boat trip to Capri leaving poor old Hermy to bob to the tune of the passing fishing boats on her own. It was surprising at how many yachts ignored the rights of way at sea. Was I sympathising with the crazy Italian ferry drivers?

The views were stunning and the highlight for me were the home of Dr Axel Munthe built on a villa first built by Tiberius during his stay at Capri. The home, called San Michelle, was very tranquil and full of Roman bits and pieces found or obtained by the good Dr.

Lovely garden. Despite being ripped off for a coffee in the upper town main square (18 Euros for three coffees) we ventured in to the San Michelle cafe for lunch which was very tasty and good value. 

Just like Elba Capri has a mountain and a cable car which Mrs K likes so up we went in a rather dodgy kind of retired ski lift to the top of Anacapri.

The old brother managed it all and I didn't drop my phone.

Well if you have done Vesuvius and Herculaneum you have to do Pompeii. So venturing up to the railway station we caught the train to Pompeii fought off the taxi drivers and walked to the site. We went round it when we were children and I remember seeing far more stone encased people than this time.

Still lots to see of the old town in the blazing heat.

Now the plan was to take Hermy along the coast and make for Salerno then come back and deposit brother back at Torre del Grotty. We anchored off Sorrento for the night spending most of the time swearing at very inconsiderate motor boaters who insist on screaming past your anchored boat. I must get a small cannon for the bows. Still the old boy got to do a bit of swimming.

We skipped along the Amalfi Coast and anchored off Maiouri for a late lunch and then in to Salerno. We liked Solerno as it was clean busy and had a more law abiding feel about it. It had civilised things like pavements and cycle lanes, yes scooters still tried to kill you on them but you did feel a little safer. So we decided to park Hermy here and do a bit more exploring from here.

I don't know what it is but if someone builds something on the top of a mountain and you can see it from the bottom then you are obliged to go and see it. It must also be done on foot for some strange reason. This seems true of Kilbrides but only genetically as Mrs K smiles at the suggestion reaches for her book and says 'see you later.'

Arechi Castle overlooks Salerno in a 'do as you are told' sort of way. Two very old and tired Kilbrides fell in to the castle bar after a long, signless search for the bloody steps. Still older brother was impressed near the top where I broke out in to a very energetic dance having nearly trodden on a snake. The blood pressure pills earned their keep that day.

When you have been married for almost 25 years you begin to have a feel for when your spouse might just be beginning to show the first glimpses of fatigue at an activity that might just be more up your street than hers. I noticed this when visiting the ancient Greek ruins at Paestum. We walked in to the site after a wander around the museum and Mrs K seemed to give off a signal about how she may be feeling.

" Have you brought me to look around another pile of old, bloody rubble in the blazing heat again? If you want me I'll be under that shady tree when you have finished and I will want ice cream."

I sometimes think Mrs K struggles to say what she means.

Lovely old rubble!

Well after Paestum and some wandering around Salerno it was time to return the older brother to Rome for more beer, pizza and rubble before he returned to Trump Town and we made for Blighty to honour No 1 sons achievements. Mrs K likes Blighty where she can interact with normal people.

We will miss Hermy though!

See Naples and Die.

Well nearly.

We left Nettuno behind and decided to cut the corner off the firing range as it was quite a hike out to get round it. All the  others were doing it too. All seemed well until we saw a tiny little motor boat with a tiny little red flag flying and it was approaching us. Politely in English two soldiers gave us a heading and told us to follow it until six miles out. I did point out the other naughty yachts and just stopped myself from saying' Or are you only aiming at British yachts today?' He told us reassuringly that he would be speaking to them too. At that point we heard a few loud booms from the land which did spur me on to get out of there although there were no loud splashes.

Hotfooting it out of the Nettuno firing range we headed for the little harbour of Terracina which turned out to be a little too little for Hermy so we decided to anchor outside for the night. Famous for being where the Apian way meets the sea. A bit like the Thanet way but more civilised. This is a road built in 312 BC to help supply Roman armies fighting in the south. It has less potholes than the Hastings Road in Maidstone. It's main claim to fame is that it's route was lined with crucified slave rebels after Spartacus, or was it Kirk Douglas, was defeated and captured in 71 BC.

Some very nice contours there!

After a relatively peaceful night we set off for Gaeta, again, steeped in Roman stuff and we were lucky enough to get in to the small old harbour for 50 Euros a night. This price is now becoming acceptable as we approach July and Naples.

A long history, from a Roman seaside retreat to an oil seaport. Perhaps the oldest and most complete bit is the mausoleum of Lucius Plancus built on top of mount Orlando and still virtually intact. Built around 20 BC it didn't seem to have a stone plundered. Having walked up Mount Orlando to see it I can understand why, sitting there staring at it gasping for breath I could hear the potential plunderers. 'Sod it let's invent cement.'  Mrs K had the good sense to leave me to it and read her book. 

Fought over and fortified by our mate Charles V after his mate Andria Doria beat up the French just off here and gave the port to the Empire. Poor old French.

Gaeta has a traditional pie dish and as usual Mrs K has to try it.

Some kind of pudding pastry stuffed with octopus and other bits and pieces. Note the large safe pizza in the foreground.

After a hot and sticky stay in Gaeta we made for the small island of Ventotene. It's funny, no matter how many times you pronounce it in your head, it always comes out as 'Ventoline' for some reason. Perhaps it's the old asthmatic in me.

Lovely sail over although light winds meant some engine help. We were joined by four dolphins for a few minutes.

Always a pleasure to see.

Now the guide books describe the little old Roman port as decidedly dodgy due to a right angled turn on entry  and the narrowness of it all. We were outside contemplating it and watching a 46 footer go in when we were approached by Enrico in a rib who talked us in to it. In we went and despite several boats deciding to come out at the same time as we entered we got in safely.

A remarkable place. The Romans basically carved it all out of stone. There was a large villa here and it was seen as a safe port in a storm as it was on the trade routes from Spain to Rome and Naples.

Ventotene and its neighboring Island San Stefano has a long history of imprisoning people with Caligula's sister 'Julia' being exiled here due to excessive adultery, I understand this as not just a bit over the side but completely keel hauled. She was eventually starved to death for her naughtiness as were about five other Roman women. As time went on political prisoners were sent here for being political in an opposing sort of way. It seems that it was here that a united Europe was first proposed by political prisoners Spinelli and Rossi in the Ventotene Manifesto in 1941. So forward thinking that they could almost see Nigel Farage.

You can't mention Ventotene without mentioning Douglas Fairbanks Junior. The sort of actor only your older brother would recall but he put his swashbuckling talents to good use in 1940 something when he lead an invasion of Ventotene and captured the occupying German force there pretending to be a much larger force then he was. Apparently his 'Beach Jumping' unit specialised in that kind of thing.

We liked Enrico and we liked this place so we stayed for two days and managed to catch England beating Colombia although I wore my Bogota hat just in case. As my brother said the Colombians can get upset in a kind of Stabby way!

Leaving Ventotene we made for one of the few remaining anchorages near the bay of Naples at Miseno. Travelling through the Procida strait you meet all the ferries coming from Naples. The navigation channels seem a little confusing and trying to get in to the head of a hydrofoil captain is even more difficult with one mirroring my attempts to show a clear sign of direction as if he were aiming for us.I think we may be on an hydrofoil blacklist. When they say 'See Naples and die' They are talking about the hydrofoil drivers. I thought I was going to have to reach for my hooter once again.

 There is no where you can go round here without bumping in to the past and we discovered that the Roman fleet was parked here in AD 79 under the command of Pliney the elder who, on seeing Vasuvius erupting and being a bit of a naturalist, went to take a look. He'd also heard that a mate and his wife were stuck at Stabia South East of Vesuvius so wanted to rescue them. He apparently got there but years of Corpulence and forgetting to take his blood pressure pills got the better of him and he died on the beach.

Leaving Miseno probably on the same route as Pliney in 79 AD heading for Torre Del Greco. I bet he didn't have such a fine dinghy cover as that produced by Mrs K.

Torre del Greco beneath Vesuvius. Stab proof vests recommended. But you are not allowed in the club house bar in shorts. You have to maintain standards you know.

Hermy tucked up second from the end at Circulo Nautico Torre Del Greco awaiting the arrival of very old brother. We have put the dinghy away.