All goes bent in Fecamp.

Probably the nicest spot so far. Fecamp from above. Wife made me walk up here to satisfy the step app on her Iphone!

You know when you text a busy ,frustrated, working mate that the biggest problem you have is that the Garlic, Boursin and the bottle of red wine are too cold to start lunch, then, deservedly,  things are about to go wrong!

Well they did. No electrics on the pontoon, no problem we need to move the boat further up. We can do that even the nice Germans next door agreed to help us despite my gaff when cleaning seagull poo of the spray hood earlier, the Luftwaffe reference without checking their flag of origin first was a mistake.

Start up the engine, let her warm up, sounds lovely, ignore wife's comments about billowing white smoke and oil slick emanating from our exhaust. They guy next door had his outboard cover off so it was to do with him, obviously! Wife persists so need to point out her error more emphatically. Shit! engine off.

I am sure I read somewhere that Yanmar's need a good blast every now and again to prevent carbon build up. It must be that. Five minutes of polluting Fecamp harbour and there is clearly a problem.

Looks like an injector problem according to Google. The Marina advise that I visit the local Uship office but I have no idea what Nigel Farage can do.

The very nice man agrees to look at the problem on Monday after a little French teeth sucking to prepare me for the worst.

Monday arrives and Grice turns up, a young, dour chap, that is, until I welt my head on the boom which cheered him up no end. He agrees with Google and takes all three injectors only leaving a small diesel stain on the carpet.

Speak to the marina about extending our stay and they agree,  but say we must go into the locked basin. I explain that I haven't got a motor and he says no problem I'll give you a tow. Normally such a manoeuvre would involve all my sailing mates being notified so they could bring their cameras.

Tuesday 23rd May, Hermy is towed into the dock. I can't help thinking of HMS Victory being towed into her final resting place in 1922. Notice how close that boom is to ma tete!

I settle in to French life as I am informed that the work on the injectors will take a week and we plan our victorious arrival in Honfleur to meet the Smiths and the Kings via hired Renault Clio. Luckily they have booked an Air B and B that has three double rooms. 

Do you think they knew?

I throw myself in to the live aboard chef roll. Did you know the French sell peas in small green mouthful packets? Extraordinary!

We visit Fecamp Benedictine Palace, Incredibly it is devoted to distilling alcohol, apparently some old Monk had the forsight to blend herbs and alcohol to make rather a tasty shot. Some French guy, Monsiour LeGrand, found the recipe and made a business out of producing the stuff. What a good chap!

I reckon we can get this between the windlass and the port shroud!

Technology has proved to be a real challenge, Iphones , tablets and laptops have been a real pain, mainly due to something called roaming, BT, and the unreliability of Wifi. Below is our most reliable bit of technology keeping us abreast of what's going on in Blighty. 

I bought it in 1980 for £6 when I started at Chester College to keep me in touch with the outside world. Still doing its job. Seems to like Smooth radio at the moment. Unfortunately they only have three adverts which they keep repeating.

Continuing with our, what we do and don't like about French life, we have noticed that the French are not adverse to whipping it out and having a pee where ever they may be. Slightly disturbing at times but I have to say that the good old English drunk often adopts this French behaviour but not usually in times of temperance. Despite this 'Whip and pee' culture we do still find that the French are very friendly, polite and courteous. "Pardonez moi monsiour je suis just having a quick peepee"

A great thing that we have noticed is traffic lights that count down to going green which is fantastic taking much of the stress out of traffic lights wondering if they ever will change. We must adopt these.

Just had the bill for the injectors.

That's it, will have to pull children's university funding.